Let’s Talk About It!!!

What is there to say?  This is truly unbelievable and my heart goes out to the families who lost their loved ones.

I am over here in tears.  I literally cannot stop crying.  It is sad and it is sickening and I cannot even imagine losing my sons, daughter, brothers, uncles, friends, co-workers, etc.  This senseless killing of black people, especially at the hands of police officers, is becoming too overwhelming.  Seeing and reading all these news reports of these murders is extremely heartbreaking and I feel so defenseless.

One person alone cannot stop these killings.  We need to come together and put an end to these senseless killings.  We need to stand together to get these murders convicted.  As I am reading people’s posts, it seems that we are all in agreement.  However, we need to stop talking about it and actually do something.  We need to join together.

As we all know, THEY KILL US BECAUSE WE KILL US.  So how about we stop killing us?  Why don’t we unite as one and become such a strong force that they have no choice but to think twice before doing ANYTHING to us?  It doesn’t matter if we’re rich or poor, we need to do something NOW!

I refuse to wait for something to happen to my children or anyone close to me before I have something to say.  Before I have a voice.  I had to have a conversation with my sons about what to do and what not to do if they were ever stopped by the police.  Why do I need to have this conversation?  As a mother, I have to make sure my children are safe.  I had to explain to them that by remaining quiet and by submitting does not make them weak or soft.  I had to explain to them that it will hopefully keep them alive.

I know fear paralyzes a lot of us.  It is quite frightening to stand up for what we believe in.  But it is our duty to STAND UP!  As parents, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. we deserve to have our voices heard and we need to do it without fear.  If they see the fear in us, they will use it against us.  We need to be strong and do what’s right for ourselves and those in our community.

We need to come up with a plan to get our voices heard.  We need to create our own platform instead of waiting for them to give us one.  Show me how! Help me out! Who’s with me?

Let’s Talk About Senseless Killings!

I’m not sure if everyone knows or is familiar with rappers in America.  In this day and age, there are so many rappers in this world and it’s very difficult keeping up.  Rappers have always been talking about selling drugs, making money, buying cars, being killers and being on top of the world.  Within the lyrics of some of their songs, they will refer to killings they’ve done or at least allegedly have committed.

With that being said, there is currently a popular rapper (popular to most) that is  being accused and charged with attempted murder, possession of a weapon and some other charges.  There is, allegedly, video footage showing him firing a weapon in a crowded room.  It is not clear as to whether or not he was targeting someone directly or if even someone was hit due to his firing this weapon, however, he is still being accused of these crimes.

The shootings took place at another rapper’s concert, T.I., in a club in New York City.  The rapper, Troy Ave, allegedly has beef with another gentlemen who was present at the club.  According to news reports, a fight broke out and gunshots rang.  There was a friend of Troy Ave’s that was killed and a few others were wounded.

Now how much sense does this make to you?  It makes absolutely none to me.  People have fights – fist fights – get beat up and then are angry because they lost the fight.  So instead of having a rematch (fist fight), the loser would much rather attempt to kill – sometimes with such sad success.

I wasn’t at the club; therefore, I cannot attest to witnessing such tragedy.  However, I am speaking based on speculation and if this man did commit such a senseless crime, then it was very stupid and his entire life is over.  It is not cute; it is not cool.  His life and career as he once knew it is OVER!

There are mothers and fathers whom have lost their children.  There are sons and daughters  who have lost their fathers. It needs to be realized, understood and clarified that committing crimes does not only affect those involved but all those in their lives.  It needs to be very clear that when an individual commits a crime; they will more times than not be convicted of that crime; in some way, form, or fashion.

When will we ever learn?  When will we get it right? And oh, I didn’t even mention about it being black on black crime.  Sad, isn’t it?

Let’s Talk About Segregation In America!

Yes! It does still exist.  I was just as surprised as you when I found out.  While of course I know that there continues to be racism.  Racism is displayed by all races; however, I thought we were over being segregated.  I thought it went away when the Civil Rights Movement came about.  I thought the purpose of the movement was to end such things.  Unfortunately, that is not the case in the state of Mississippi. 

According to reports from CNN, New York Times, and other news reports, Mississippi School District was ordered to desegregate their schools.  New York Times reported that the high schools and middle schools will now be integrated with white students and black students.  A report by NewsOne states that the schools are separated by railroad tracks and are only approximately three miles from one another. 

Although not shocking, it is very heart-breaking to hear.  I could only imagine what those children are going through.  My brothers and I have not had to endure even close to what those children are living.  Being segregated from other children has to play a huge role in the mental development of a child as well as the social development.  It is one thing to read a story about such ignorance; however, it is a whole other beast to have to live it.  Vanita Gupta, Head of Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division stated that the ruling has now created a new opportunity for all children to thrive together. 

How will the parents of this district recover? What will they say to one another and to their children?  How do you explain to your children that they will now be attending classes with a race that they have always been separated from?  If you ask me, children are much smarter, wiser, and much more forgiving than adults.  Racism is a learned behavior, which would need to be reversed.  The children of the town will hopefully teach their parents something or at least I would hope so.  Once parents see their children happy and prospering, it should sway their own way of thinking.   As parents, we want to see our children happy.  Why should we instill hatred in their tiny, innocent hearts?  The parents of the district need to prioritize and realize that it takes more energy to display hatred than it does to extend love.

They shall see.

 

Let’s Talk About Public Education vs. Other Education!

To school or not to school!!!!

THAT IS THE QUESTION

What does a parent do?  Should we send our children off to a public or private school or do we leave them home to be home-schooled or “un-schooled”?

This is such a touchy subject and one that causes such an outrage in parents.  Parents usually know what is right for their children but sometimes may need to listen to reason.  This was a topic on an episode of  Dr.  Phil.

As I was watching, many of the parents were so against sending their children off to school.  They felt their children were better at home with them.  There was multiple reasons as to why they didn’t believe their children should go to school.  Some believed that it was unsafe and they were safer at home.  With all of the school shootings, it was too much of a risk to send their child to a public or private school.  Some parents just did not believe the school system was competent enough to educate their children.  It was an all-out brawl; even to the point where a husband and wife team disagreed.

Throughout the show, I kept hearing the term “un-school.”  I have never heard this term before and this is what really sparked my interest and made me continue watching.   As many of us have heard, home-schooling means that the parent(s) educate their children in the comfort of their home.  They will usually follow the local school curriculum and will administer tests deemed appropriate.  The children will move from grade to grade just as if they were in public or private school.

Un-schooling, however, is a little similar to home-schooling.  The difference is that the parents do not follow a set curriculum.  There is no organization to the education of their children.  They will use life experiences and field trips to educate their children.  They do not take proper examinations and they do not follow the same grade to grade promotion.

Once parents admitted to un-schooling their children, the audience went crazy.  This was such a debate and it was not understood – even by Dr. Phil it seemed – as to why they would believe this way of educating their children was right.

I will give it to the parents though.  They definitely stood their ground.  There was not one parent that swayed from their decision.  They made it very clear that would continue to educate their children the way they wanted and no one was going to tell them differently.

I will not state my opinion on how I feel about this topic.  However, I will tell you that all of my children are and have been publicly educated.  My mother, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. and I were all publicly educated and we are some of the most intelligent individuals you will ever meet. 🙂

I would love to hear everyone’s thoughts about this topic.   How were you educated and are your children in-school, home-schooled, or un-schooled?

 

 

 

 

Let’s Talk About A Mother’s Love!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

There’s no greater joy than being a mother. It is an indescribable feeling and one that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.  Having children, whether it be one or twenty, gives you a different glow each time.  These little people have different personalities and grow up to be  extraordinary men and women.

I know all about these joys because I was very fortunate enough to experience it – three times.  I remember the day they were born, as if it were yesterday.  My oldest son is 20 years old, my middle son is 16 years old, and my youngest daughter is now 9 years old.  They are beautiful people and I am beyond ecstatic to have them in my life.

Let’s go back to the winter of 1995.  It was cold everyday and the snow just wouldn’t stop falling.  At this time, I am 18 years old and pregnant.  I  began to become nervous because my baby’s due date was coming up.  This was my first pregnancy, first birth, and I had no idea what to expect.  What did I know about being a mother? How was I going to raise another human being?  Well umm, now it was a little too late for these thoughts because this human being was on his way.  LOL 

I was in labor for 24 hours.  I was in extreme pain for 12 of the 24 hours.  I did not want anyone talking or touching me.  I just wanted him out of my body.  It was his due date and he was coming.  How long is this going to take? Why am I here?  It’s hurting so badly; I cannot stop crying.  I want to go inside my body and just pull him out.  The doctor keeps telling that it wouldn’t be too much longer.  Yea right!  He’s been saying that for the past 20 minutes.  Is my coming or not? LOL Five minutes after that question was asked, my baby boy was born.  He was the first newborn baby, straight from the womb,  I’ve ever seen and I was even way too nervous to hold him.  But I eventually did and still do.  🙂

Four years later, I decide to do it all over again.  Didn’t I learn my lesson the first time?  I guess not because I am now pregnant – AGAIN.  I’m only 23 years old and today is his due date.  What is it with my babies and their due dates? Thank goodness these two obliged. LOL Does that mean they will always follow directions?  That would be a big fat NO! LOL

Anyway, it’s wintertime again; however, there is no snow.  Thank goodness!  I began to have contractions and they are about 5 minutes apart.  I think it’s time to go to the hospital.  The doctor tells me to check myself in and as soon as I do, I am hooked up to machines and my labor is being pushed.  I am given a medication that speeds up the process of labor and my water was manually broken by the doctor.  This pain is excruciating.   Actually, this pain makes me want to choke somebody.  LOL Like my first son, I don’t want anyone talking to me, touching me or even looking at me.  That pain just would not stop and I just wanted this baby out of me.  Those were my exact words, “Get this baby out of me.”  LOL  Just as I’m yelling this, I am now ready to push.  Twenty–five minutes later, my baby boy is born.  I have proudly become a mother of two.  I was in labor for 12 hours.

Raising two boys was a job in itself.  They were complete opposites and my second son gave me a run for my money.  It was a struggle; working and raising children has become my life.  I had space for my friends and family but it was all about my children and still is.  But even with all the hustle and bustle I was doing and all of the sleepless nights I was having, I still wanted more.  When was I going to learn my lesson? LOL 

So at the age of 30, my baby girl was born.  She gave me a scare.  While a woman is always at risk with any of her pregnancies, it becomes worse when her child is born premature.  My baby girl was due at the beginning of April but instead decided to come into the world at the beginning of February.  Again, another child who has something to say about their due date.  LOL  She really did not want to stay inside until April.  I was just extremely grateful for her being born so healthy and while she had to stay in the hospital for a couple of weeks, I was so happy that she was doing well and continues to do well.  I was in labor for 6 hours.

I am a proud mother of three.  My children are my pride and joy.  My heart is full and beats because of them.  They are my world and life would not be life if they were not in it.  Making the decision to have them is one I will NEVER regret.  I can go on and on with stories about my children and while I know people will find them entertaining, I will stop now. 

I just wanted to spread the joy of being a mother – THE GREATEST JOB IN THE WORLD!

Let’s Talk About FEMINISM!

I AM A FEMINIST AND I HAVE A MAN!

The word Feminist has always been misconstrued as meaning anti-man.

“Women who are feminist, hate men.”  – unknown

Fortunately, this statement is so far from the truth.  Most women who consider themselves to be feminist, do not male-bash.  The definition of feminism, according to the New World Encyclopedia, means one who advocates women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.  Surprisingly, there are many men whom are extremely proud to call themselves a feminist.  These men will fight just as hard as women, for women’s rights.  They have no issues with standing for what’s right or what’s wrong.  To them, there is no separation.  In fact, the Dalai Lama stated:

If we as women don’t stand up for fight ourselves, who do we expect to do so?  Are we waiting for men to take charge?  Wouldn’t that be considered sexist? We need to do all that we can in order to protect ourselves.  We need to go for what we want and take what we deserve.  We are the ones that want it, so why should we wait for someone to give it to us?  

The Bible states that “All men were created equal.” So how is it that women  have become second to men?  Now don’t get me wrong, the bible also states that, “a woman should be submissive to her man.” I have no issues with being submissive to my man..  Being a feminist doesn’t necessarily equate independence or the act of a woman wanting to be a man.  And while there may be women who portray this type of behavior, it is not what we all stand for.  Feminism was created as a means to support women’s rights.  Such is the case as the Civil Rights Movement.  Because you stand for your civil rights does not mean you are anti-white or anti-another race.  It simply means you believe in what is right for your race and gender. 

So what exactly is wrong with being a feminist?  Absolutely NOTHING.  I believe that if more women would stand up and admit to being a feminist and support each other, then the world would be a better place  LOL and we would be better supported.  I believe that if we stop being ashamed of  it but instead embrace and love our femininity and womanhood, then we would also be better understood. 

I am EXTREMELY proud of being a woman and I am EXCEPTIONALLY proud of what I stand for and as I stated, I  DO have a man.  I love my man unconditionally and support him with all of his endeavors and in turn, he does the same for me.  If this was not the case, then we would not be together.  We have to be on the same page.  He is 1000% man and will never and could never change that  and why would he want to.  More so, why would I want him to.  So why would he want me to change how I feel as a woman? He wouldn’t.

So I again I ask, what exactly is wrong with being a feminist and do you consider yourself to be one? You answer that one.  I would love to hear your thoughts.  

 

 

 

 

Let’s Talk About Never Giving UP!

 

I had a conversation the other day with a friend and the topic was about children.  We talked about how children are extremely impressionable and adults truly need to be careful with their behavior while children are around.  We as parents, need to recognize that our children are watching our every move and they build their feelings towards us, based upon how we behave.

In other words, children are much smarter than we give them credit for.  They know what is going on – even though they do not verbally express it.  It is up to us (parents &adults alike) to do the right things with our lives and make an OUTSTANDING impression on our children.  We should want them to brag about us, never be ashamed,  and we should want them to follow in our footsteps.

As a child, I remember seeing my grandmother, mother, aunts, uncles, close friends of the family, waking up everyday to go to work and take care of the household.  They all made sure their families were well taken care of and they made sure we all did not want for nothing.

There was always food on the table – home-cooked meals – every day.  No matter how tired our parents were.  There was always clothes for us to wear, sometimes name brand, sometimes not. 

My mother was a single mother – raising four children alone.  I would always ask myself, “how does she do it?” I know my mother was always exhausted at the end of the day BUT she never showed it.  She was not afraid of hard work and she kept working hard even until her children were all grown with families of their own. 

I always looked at my mother, grandmother, and aunts as REMARKABLY STRONG women.  They kept our families together; the best way they knew how.  And I have ALWAYS respected them for it. 

So now in my adult life, I feel it is only right that  I mimic the behavior of those EXCEPTIONALLY STRONG women.  I, too, make sure my children want for nothing and I make sure I make them proud.  I am no stranger to hard work.  In fact, I welcome it.  It keeps me motivated and it keeps my mind highly stimulated.  I am completing my bachelor’s degree and am enrolled in a certificate program to become a Life Coach.  I am now self-employed and I am trying my best to keep myself sane (LOL) while keeping my children happy. 

NO ONE ever said LIFE would be this difficult.  In fact, the women in my life made it look so easy. But I am learning and I will NEVER give up no matter what and I CONSTANTLY instill that same determination in my children.

So to all the grandmothers, grandfathers, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, whatever your relationship is to a child –

NEVER EVER GIVE UP!

Make sure you’re not only telling them but SHOWING that child just how hard work breeds success.  TELL them just how much you want to see them turn out to be successful.  They will do what you say and do what you do, just to make  you happy, especially if you let them know what it means to you.  

BUT

you better make sure you are making them happy too!

BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYONE WHO DESERVES IT!

 

Let’s Talk About My Return!

Hey Everyone ………. 

I’M BACK!!!!!!!!

It’s been almost two months since I’ve posted anything and I am sorry that it has taken me this long.  So much has gone on in the past few weeks.  It’s so difficult trying to keep up with everything on your plate.  There are things that get neglected and unfortunately this was one. 

It saddens me when I am unable to post.  I love writing.  This is the reason I started this blog.  I wanted to get my thoughts and feelings out to the world and then sit back and wait for responses.  But how can I expect people to respond when there is anything for them to respond to?

I have made a vow not to be on a hiatus again.  I cannot disappear and then reappear – that is unprofessional.  Starting today, I will be submitting regular posts (nice and juicy ones), letting everyone know what I’ve been through this past month.

So to all my followers, sit back, relax and enjoy my blog!

Thank you for your Patience!

Let’s Talk About Subliminal Messages

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and he was telling me about how he and his brother are fighting.  He says that every time his brother reaches out to him, it’s only for one thing.  When he doesn’t help him out or is unable to, his brother catches a temper tantrum and will either curse him out or post things on Facebook.  My friend stated that he does not always pay attention to what his brother is posting; he simply does not care.  However, whenever he posts something, his brother always takes it to heart.

He reposted a quote that someone else posted.  He said as soon as his brother saw it, he sent him a text, telling him how he felt about the post.  My friend had to let his brother know that he is not posting any subliminal and if he has anything to say, he will just say it.  His brother went on and on about the post and accused him of being insensitive.

So what is it about Facebook and our messages? Why do people always feel you are posting things about them?

I told my friend that people feel a way when they are not doing right in their own lives.  Anything negative someone posts will always be about them.  If they were doing what they should be doing and living the way they wish they were, then the messages or posts would not mean anything to them. I let him know that his brother feels that way because he wants to turn his problems around on him.  I just let him know that he shouldn’t get into it with his brother.  Let him live his life and that he should do the same.

It’s sad when family and friends fight over the most ridiculous things.  Social media has become the relationship killer in almost any type of relationship.  It’s heartbreaking to see two brothers fight because of a social media post.

We need to do better.  We all need to better communicate with one another.  If there is an issue, then discuss it in private.  Stop posting things on social media for the world to read.  Our personal business, especially when there is an issue, should be left personal.  While I love reading my friends and family trials and tribulations and would love to help as much as I can, there are just some things we all DO NOT need to know about.

Let’s stay away from the subliminal messages and let’s say exactly what we mean.  As the saying goes, say what you mean, mean what you say.  This way, the person you are speaking to understands your message clearly and there are no ifs, ands or buts about what you are saying.

Let’s Talk About Patience!



Patience is definitely a virtue. If you make a plan in life, you will succeed!

Success does not happen overnight. It does takes time and a lot of hard work. 

You just need to sit back, relax and wait for it.  It’ll be here before you know it. 

Just Keep Moving Forward……